I have craved to have a morning ritual for the longest time, and since becoming a mother I have had many excuses getting in the way of it happening on a regular basis.
It is hard committing to your self.
The reason I have craved after a morning ritual is because for years I had one in the shape of a very strong yoga practise, and I acknowledge the incredible impact a morning ritual has on my day.
My life.
The centring, the checking in, the intention setting and clarity, before extending energy outwards and getting swept up in the day, serves as an incredible anchor.
This year I signed up for A Course in Miracles with Marianne Williamson, which is a process that stretches over 365 days. I had signed up for this process at the beginning of 2021 and unlike me I dropped out after about a week. I just couldn't manage it in that moment.
So since the first of January this year my morning ritual has been listening to Marianne's daily lesson, moving on my yoga mat for about twenty mins, and then sitting for a couple of minutes with the practice Marianne has taught that day. Thirty mins max.
My intention has been to solidify and build from that.
About fifteen days in I could feel the shift. My body naturally started to wake early, my practice/ritual started to evolve and the time I spent began to expand.
Then I started to feel tired due to house stuff and an unsettled toddler at night and felt the temptation to throw in the towel and lay in bed longer.
Then I remember how good I have been feeling starting the day committed to my ritual.
I feel the shift.
The clarity.
The grounding.
The presence.
The openness.
The feeling of fulfilment.
The love.
The desire to do more good stuff for myself.
A big part of staying committed to this ritual is accepting that it is not always going to look how I wanted it to.
The conditions can be far from perfect with interruptions, children waking earlier than anticipated, or having been up through the night. Even finding a slice of floor to unroll my mat out on in the depths of a kitchen extension has been tricky.
I have spoken about this in motherhood, about how I have had to let go of attachment to my previous reality and redefine what my Yoga/spiritual practice looks like within motherhood, and in fact life, in this moment.
It boils down to making that commitment to myself, being able to go with the flow, and celebrate the wins no matter how small.
And this morning I had a big win. Day twenty-three and my body clock urged me up at 5.30am. The family slept as I unrolled my mat out between a bag of rubbish and a radiator draped in clothes. I started with my practice, and I stayed there for quite some time before sitting down with my lesson with Marianne.
The girls called out earlier than usual but that was ok. I had spent a quiet, precious hour with myself. I felt satiated. And crawling into the top bunk with my 5 year old from that place felt delightful.
A reminder that every day will look different, and that releasing attachment to it being any other way, is a weight off.
Focus on the wins.